Living With PCOS

The call you never want to get

Jason and I met in October of 2011, we met online despite having many mutual friends. He sure was a charmer. Jason worked for a tower company and was spent a lot of time away, weeks at a time even. To say our first year together was easy would be a complete lie. We had fights, we broke up, we got back together and repeated that cycle viciously. We even saw other people for a minute. I hated that he worked away, I hated not having him there, I hated that I didn't trust him for reasons that had nothing to do with him. 

In November of 2012 he was working away overnight in the northern part of Maine, Like most times he was away we were fighting, he worked long days, in the cold and snow, he didn't want to be bothered with my insecurities when he got done, hindsight I don't blame him. On this particular night we had started our conversation with the normal "How was your day and I miss you" only to end it with "I don't have the patience for this right now" We hung up without me knowing if there was still an us. I had a work meeting the next day and was staying with a co-worker for the night, so that kept my mind occupied.

I am a night owl and never wake early, so when I woke up at 7 the next morning with missed calls from Jasons mother, I knew something wasn't right. She had left a voicemail that said I needed to call her back. I called her back and she told me "Jasons been in an accident you need to get to the hospital" I had no idea what she meant, how serious or if he would even want me there. I called my mom and she said she would meet me there. 

When I got to the hospital they told me Jason had been taking into surgery, his mom and dad told me what had happened. Jason and his co-worker had been coming back from dinner when they hit a patch of black ice and lost control of the truck (Jason was the passenger) we would later see photos and read about the entire ordeal in the local paper. A surgeon came out to see us and explained to us that the only way to save Jasons life was to Amputate his leg. As a mother now I cannot imagine the pain his mother felt making that decision, although there really wasn't a choice, it had to be done.

Surgery lasted what seemed like an eternity, they moved him to ICU where he was medically sedated for the next 3 or 4 days, details are blurry. I spent a week or more sleeping on the ICU waiting room floor, we made camp and stayed as a family, visitors, friends and family came to see us. We spent Thanksgiving in that waiting room, it became our home away from home. 

When Jason finally woke up, his family made the decision they would tell him without me, I still did not even know if he would want to see me. A nurse came out and said he was asking for me, seeing those blue eyes open and waiting for me was one of the best feelings in my life. His whole entire life was upside down and somehow he was comforting me. 

The next month was filled with delusions I couldn't understand, drug reactions that terrified us all, a lot of pain, therapy, ups and downs, but we made it. On December 12th, almost exactly one month to the day Jason got to come home! Though the road ahead was long this was the first big step in his recovery. My birthday was the following day and he sent roses to my work. With everything he was going through he still thought of me. He was my rock, he was the strongest person I knew, he still is.

It has now been 5 years, and he continues to have struggles, we still fight in a healthy and constructive way, I have learned to put my past in the past and that life is more important and worth living now. You see life is not promised to anyone on any specific day. The lord giveth and the lord taketh away. I can't promise that I will spend everyday appreciating that but sometimes I think back to what could have been, how our lives could have changed and I will forever be grateful for his co-worker, the doctors, surgeons, nurses, our friends and family for giving us the support and strength to keep moving forward.

If you can relate to this, if you have ever experienced just how precious life can be, how challenging and unforgiving sometimes, then my hat is off to you my friend, I wouldn't wish our experience on anyone.

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